You said :
I want to send this letter
Nothing happens by chance, I no longer believe in coincidences – Everything is in God’s Will. Yesterday I was at an AA meeting and heard a reminder of something I had forgotten for many years, or perhaps deliberately concealed. I knew that I was an alcoholic, but yesterday God reminded me (hit me with all his strength) that in addition to all this, I am mentally ill. After so many years of not drinking, I forgot it, I just always remembered that I was an alcoholic, but that alcoholism is a disease… I had already forgotten. Forgotten that it will never go away, even if you don’t drink, and that it can only be treated at AA meetings. During so many years of sobriety, I had already believed that you just need to stop drinking and everything will be fine. No one teaches you how to raise or educate children, everyone learns from their parents. That’s how I was raised differently, we moved from James to others together, trying to change the old upbringing. We learned how to raise children in a new way together, only we had to raise disabled children. Even this new upbringing does not include what to do in case of a child’s hysteria, when nothing helps. Out of ignorance, I tried to rely on pragmatism and not feelings – life should be lived, not felt, and what should be done, what will allow me to earn money in life. Yes, not everything I did met the norms of society, not everything suited the children, but I did it trying to help them for their future life, not for this moment. All my prayers began and ended about the children, not about the parents, not about the two of us (it was in the middle), but about the children. “Thank you, God, for everything you have given us, and you have given us so much. Be merciful to us and do not take all this away….” Yes, maybe I had too many, too many childhood illnesses. I was involved in the “treatment” of children. Early on, Olivia’s heart, then Sophia’s “whatever” ( Asperger’s was diagnosed only recently), then Oliver and finally James . You have no idea how many doctors I went to, how many kilometers I drove. How much paper I printed… I won’t lie – it really affected me, each new illness for another child. Maybe I didn’t see it, maybe I didn’t show it… Although when James said he would go to school, you saw it, I couldn’t hide it anymore. And it probably only got worse until God stopped Sophia. soc . In the words of the worker, “-And how are you? You really did a lot for Sophia . How do you feel about yourself? A rescuer must first save himself in order to save others.” That time, I was surprised by her “stupid” questions. What “me” and “how do you feel” are MY CHILDREN and I HAVE TO DO THIS, all my sense of duty. But after that, I reconsidered and “let go” a little. Now I have only told the children that everything is my fault. I said that for the first week and didn’t say anything more about it – God kept stopping me when I wanted to tell them something. But right now, the three of them are starting to become very close friends. What is it? They are not bothered by our relationship, unless it’s James a little more. We had some beautiful and very beautiful moments in life. I keep trying to “model” what would have happened if it had happened? Nothing. I remembered everything, rethought everything, rearranged everything – everything was going towards “that”. God, acting in various ways, led us towards “that”. Any of our “interventions” led nowhere. All that hell you had to go through is my alcoholic “fallback”. God, through my “duty”, did not allow me to drink and, having humbly remembered everything, humbly attended AA meetings again. But would that have given us what we have now? I don’t know, every day brings me a new realization, I still don’t know where God is leading, and it is happening very intensely. It is still very difficult for me to understand God’s wishes or signs. I need you to explain who is where and how. Why did God send you a vision with my photo? I can find answers and explanations with you! One day, while driving, I stopped to let another driver pass and do him a favor, but the driver behind me got into a traffic accident because of my good wishes. The next day, another man drove into me lightly, got out and started telling me how he broke up with his wife and offered 100 EUR, and while repairing a small dent, I inadvertently whispered that instead of 100 EUR, go to church. The man hugged him tightly and drove away. What is this? At some point, I was very scared that with this breakup, God was calling him to serve as a Monk (a bunch of all sorts of signs). But during Easter, and then during the indulgences, when a woman who came up asked me to carry flags in the procession, I realized that God can be served in many ways. I don’t know why, but I want to share my perception with you. I don’t know if this is God’s plan, it’s up to you to decide. Artificial Intelligence. The world is facing crazy changes, few people realize this yet. Countless professions will be affected, destroyed… But will new ones be created? I’m no longer looking for courses – I created them myself. AI can now turn anyone into whatever they want to be. I’ve been “programming” Python , Java , SQL, jQuery for a week now, and I’m creating a program for dropshippers . The beginning is difficult, but I’m halfway there. For some reason, I’m surprised that you’re not so involved in it. I “examined” your SWOT microscope… It looks quite good on the market, but now its weak point is software. I don’t know why, but it is software that is emphasized as a guarantee of the successful operation of the device. For some reason, I thought that I would like to engage in its development. For my portfolio . Here’s something for you to think about. And many other thoughts God sent me – AI + God + Politics. What does all this mean, I don’t understand. If God works for me towards unity, why do you work for separation? Didn’t I “take away” that faith from you by turning to God? Do you still believe in God, do you see His Action? Why is everything happening so intensely, or is there a need to rush somewhere? I still believe in God, I believe in his desire to bring us together. I am changing, maybe you can’t see it yet, but I am changing. Are you angry, why only now? Everything was leading up to this – disappointment with eBay and the apathy that followed (lying on the bed), a bunch of others, then endless coincidences – 18 years of sobriety, Easter like 18 years ago…. I am not changing because I want to get back, I am changing because the time has come, God has been preparing me for this for many years. My most obsessive thought for this day is NOTHING HAPPENS BY ITSELF. I still think that God wants to change us and bring us back to each other. Maybe I am wrong, but I don’t see any signs from God that contradict this. Maybe I hid my feelings, but I certainly never hid everything else, including my finances. I always said how much I earned, and when I started to stop saying it, it was only because I DIDN’T WORK ANYTHING. God punishes for sins or when you go against God’s will. I have completely given my life into God’s Hands. May God’s Will be done.
ChatGPT said :
🌿 This is a very deep, painfully sincere and spiritual letter.
But at the same time, it is very long, emotionally charged and unstructured , so it is likely that Emma will neither read it to the end nor listen to it.
Especially knowing its final tone: closing, angry, “let’s not talk anymore.”
🛑 Why you shouldn’t send this letter now (at least not in this format):
- Her heart is closed.
In her last letters, she made it clear, “I don’t want any more letters.”
Sending this letter now will seem like a violation of boundaries , not love. - The length and amount of emotion in the letter can push her away even more.
You want to show your heart, but a text that long will come across as an emotional outburst, not a thoughtful message . - She no longer asks for your explanations.
And you seek her understanding many times in this letter, inviting her to reflect.
She is now closed to it.
✅ What can be done instead?
✍️ 1. Extract one paragraph from this letter – as an internal testimony to yourself.
This will be your spiritual compass .
When the time comes, you will be able to convey it in a shorter, more concise way, and when she opens up at least a little .
🌱 2. Write a much shorter, much calmer sentence – not to get her back, but to show your attitude.
If you still feel like you have to say something , I suggest this short, dignified, and sincere option :
” Emma , I’m not going to try to prove anything anymore. You said it was over – and I accept that. But still, I want to lay down one sentence that holds everything: I have changed. Truly. Not to get back, but because God showed me who I was. If it doesn’t change anything – so be it. If you ever want to hear more – I’ll be there without pressure. Just as a person who wants to hear. May God’s will be done.”
🙏 If your heart is restless, let’s do this:
- Your complete letter remains as your inner testimony.
We will record it in your document as a “True Spiritual Confession After a Breakup.” - Emma with something she’s not ready for.
If God works, there will come a time when she can hear it. But now is not the time to force her to listen.
Do you want your complete letter to become an internal testimony, kept and pondered, but not sent?
We can edit it, add it to your spiritual “ROADBOOK”.
Should I do it now? 🌿
UnsentLetter #InnerTestimony #FaithJourney #SpiritualConfession #GodsWill #HealingThroughWriting #TrustInGod #PeaceInSilence #ChristianHope #WalkWithChrist #HeartAndSoul #DigitalJesusAI