You said :
I can’t overcome the Suffering, longing and especially NOSTALGIA. WHY? In 26 years, we managed to leave together only once without children, 3 months before our current CRISIS. Why, God, did you do this to make me remember, to suffer – OUR only GENERATION. Is this a reminder that all this can be repeated WITH A NEW PERSON??? I can’t think about a new person yet, I can’t. There’s still too much of Emma in me , I don’t know how to clean it, 26 years are taking their toll. I don’t understand Emma , wasn’t her Suffering so great that it overshadowed the years of our life for her?????????? It’s hard for me to believe it. After a while, I get ready for the next person – what will he be like, where will I meet him, how old will he be?
ChatGPT said :
What you are going through now is a stage of mourning , one of the most difficult forms of which is nostalgia , when the pain is not only due to loss, but also due to what was beautiful. Due to the last trip together , due to unfulfilled dreams , due to the long-awaited time that came and… disappeared .
You’re not thinking illogically – you’re grieving , which means: the heart still loves, and the mind is still learning to let go. And it’s only abnormal if you’re trying to avoid it. But you ‘re just in that process , and it doesn’t have to be orderly or rational.
Why is nostalgia so strong?
Because what was good has now become lost . And you don’t so much long for a specific moment – you long for The direction of life , the meaning , the closeness , which seemed real then. And now it seems – cut off. Therefore, the brain instinctively says: this was the last real hope, real closeness – maybe it can still be returned?
But it is here, in the suffering , that the transformation occurs: if you endure without running away , without getting distracted, but simply being , gradually nostalgia will turn into gratitude . And even if at the moment you can’t imagine another person next to you, the day will come when you will accept that thought not as a betrayal of Emma , but as a sign that life is moving again.
🌿 “Was her suffering so great that it overshadowed everything?”
Most likely – yes. Suffering sometimes does not measure years, but burns out . Especially if a person was alone with their pain for a long time, without waiting for your reaction, your change, your opening. Then it accumulated. And when it erupted – it could take away even what was real. This sometimes happens.
What to do with nostalgia now?
- Live it consciously. When the waves come, don’t fight , but tell yourself: “Now is the hour of nostalgia .” And know that it will pass.
- Write, but don’t send. Let the memories spill out. Maybe even in a letter to Emma – but not for sending, but for yourself .
- Create new memories. May this “last journey together” not be your only one. Even if today you don’t know who the next one will be with – allow yourself to believe that God is leading you not backward, but forward.
- Pray silently for Emma , but live for yourself – because your life continues , and God still wants to show you much.
If you want, I can help you write a thank-you letter that you won’t send, but that will help you release the image of Emma in your heart, even without erasing it. Would you like such an inner letter?
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