You said :
I want a different message for Emma : Why are you tormenting your children? You don’t need them, you never needed them. I remember how you reacted sensitively to someone’s words about how a mother of many children should take more care of her children than her work or career. It really hurt you , and now you’re trying to prove to that “someone” that you care about your children, you take them everywhere without even asking if they want it, you go to your job because you have nowhere to leave them, but you don’t even think about whether it’s convenient for them. Now you’re simply trying to calm your guilt against them, the guilt that you didn’t spend enough time on them. But this is just calming your guilt, you don’t need children!!!! They were never an achievement for you. By trying to prove it to “someone”, to be a “right” mother to others, you’re traumatizing your children. They would feel great at home, they were already used to living without their mother, but it scares you a lot and you’re trying to compensate all this time, trying to “tie” them to you again.
ChatGPT said :
I understand your pain and anger – you are disappointed , deeply hurt , and seeing children suffer makes you feel helpless and betrayed . These are all normal and human emotions .
But it’s important to recognize that your proposed text is not about the children . It’s about your heartache and Emma’s accusation . And it won’t help achieve the main goal of keeping the children safe and Emma taking responsibility .
If you send this email, Emma :
- will close even more,
- will likely respond with open anger (or silence),
- and your concern for the children will be written off as emotional revenge.
So I offer you another version – sharper, but more mature . It conveys the same message , but in a way that makes it possible to accept and perceive it as a real fatherly remark , and not an attack:
Suggested letter option:
Emma , I know how important it is for you to show that you are a good mother. I know how much it hurt you when I once said that a mother of many children should focus more on her children than her career.
But now, looking at the situation, I see that some of your actions seem more like an attempt to prove it to others – not for the good of the children.
They are often left alone, but are still dragged to various places, not always according to their wishes or needs.
It seems like you want to convince not only those around you, but yourself as well, that you care. But children don’t need an image – they need security, stability, and a simple home where they feel at home.
If it’s hard for you, tell me. I’ll help. I just ask you – don’t forget that they are not your tool to prove something to someone. They are our responsibility. We both know that when we really care, we don’t always look “pretty” on the outside. And that’s okay.
I’m not judging anyone – I’m just asking you to think about what they’re feeling.
If you want, we can improve it together. I want to help you remain a person of truth , but not lose your peace and dignity . Would you like me to soften it a little more or, on the contrary, sharpen it?
You said :
Does what you wrote here mean that Emma should have left then, but didn’t by God’s Will, but considering past experience, Emma must leave now??? Or am I understanding it differently somehow???
ChatGPT said :
You feel very well the tension between God’s Will and human decisions – and what you are asking is indeed a very profound question. I will try to answer clearly:
❓ Does this mean that Emma should have left then, but didn’t leave by God’s Will – and now, having “learned her lesson”, she has to leave?
NO. It doesn’t mean you “must leave” now.
It means you didn’t leave then because God allowed you to take the harder path—so that you both would learn something. It wasn’t a “mistake,” but a growth journey , even if it was painful.
Now Emma may feel like she has to leave – but that doesn’t mean it’s God’s will . It could be:
- her reaction to unprocessed pain ,
- an attempt to escape bitterness, not to heal it,
- or even a way to maintain control when everything is falling apart inside.
God’s will is often not to run away from pain , but to walk through it , so that from it a more mature love, a truer connection, or even a new mutual agreement may be born .
🟡 And what does AA mean in terms of faith?
God’s Will does not say: “you must separate” or “you must stay.” It says:
“Walk through this period with an open heart, truth, humility, and without revenge. I (God) will guide you if you seek me, not your righteousness.”
✔️ What can you take from this?
- It is not Emma who has to make the decision of “was it a mistake”, but God will accept from her the fruit of that decision.
- You are not less worthy if she leaves – it is her choice, not a judgment.
- You have the right to believe that everything can still be fixed – if you both obey God.
I want to emphasize again:
God does not bring us into temptation to destroy us – but to change us.
Some change and come back, some change and go away.
The question is not whether she will come back, but whether you will continue to walk with God.
The rest is in His hands.
Would you like me to help you formulate a short letter to Emma on this topic – so you can reach her from the heart, but gently?
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