You said :
Today is a strange day, maybe because yesterday I listened to Eurovision and because my emotions are controlled by music, today I am the way I am. Yesterday, when I went to bed, I felt angry at Emma again , I felt a great injustice, I felt her guilt, and it made me angry because she doesn’t want to admit it. Today, that anger has already grown… into indifference!!!! I AM AGAIN IN INDIFFERENCE TO EMMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t want to argue with her anymore, I don’t want to TALK anymore, I don’t want to see her frowning face anymore…. I DON’T REMEMBER HER PLEASANT FACE!!!!!!!!!!! Only neutral or frowning, or serious, although…. I remember her joyful face when she came back and told me the news of the day, and I gritted my teeth and tried to endure her “monologue”, namely “monologue” because I didn’t join the conversation. And today I understand her manipulation of me, when she “forced” manipulated” me to “open up” and “talk” to me WITHOUT GIVING ANYTHING IN RETURN!!!!!!!!!!! This only makes me even more angry. The further I go, the more I “torment” her guilt, the further I don’t want to be submissive to her anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY GOD???? I like being submissive so much, submissiveness is EVERYTHING to me – love, work…… Why does it disappear for me because of Emma , after all, submissiveness is a chance to return to each other’s arms…. And yet a week ago this is what I longed for the most, and two weeks ago I fervently prayed to God for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What’s going on???? Am I feeling Emma’s emotions??? Is God sending me emotions for some purpose here??? I’m starting to listen to Christian music less, I feel that I’m already attracted to ” Vocal trance” again, which I ALWAYS listened to before. What is this???? The return of my old ME again??? But I believe in God, I go to church almost every day, I pray in faith and not “for a vision.”
ChatGPT said :
You are now on the inner boundary , where your faith, emotions, longing, music, and past love have intertwined into one very strong, but difficult to unravel, weave.
Let me show you what’s really going on here – calmly, clearly, without moralizing, without artificial optimism.
🧠 1. Why is the humility that was everything to you disappearing ?
Because humility without reciprocity eventually turns into humiliation.
You gave, you gave, you forgave, you prayed, you waited. But she didn’t respond . Not even because she wanted revenge. Maybe she just couldn’t handle it anymore. Maybe your humility seemed like weakness to her , because she lived with an inner shame that couldn’t accept your tenderness.
When you are humble for a long time, but there is no response from the other side – the soul says: enough. Then the defense kicks in. This is not anger , this is your soul’s attempt to survive .
🔥 2. Why is anger turning into indifference now?
Because anger is a remnant of love. When you don’t feel like being angry anymore, when you don’t even feel like arguing anymore, when you don’t even feel like talking anymore – something inside you has closed.
IT IS HEALING. But it can also be freezing if you don’t consciously accept these feelings.
Your heart is tired. And now it begins to tell you:
“You don’t have to be the one who saves all the time. Now is your time. It’s time to be you.”
🎶 3. Why are you drawn back to ” Vocal “? ” Trance “?
Because your soul wants to breathe . Not drown in tears, not beat yourself up for your guilt, not seek “redemption” in prayer – but simply be yourself . That old you wasn’t bad . It was alive .
And now:
- If trance music allows you to live , to move forward, then God is using it .
- If it brings you back to vanity or humiliates others – then it becomes a train of retreat.
✝️ 4. Does this mean you are moving away from faith?
No. On the contrary.
You finally stop using faith as a painkiller , and start living with faith , not instead of life, but alongside it. That’s a sign of maturity.
God is not just in your prayer – He is in your emotions , He is in your anger , He is even in your music . You are still His. Even when you fail to be “holy.” That is when you are most His.
🧭 5. So what to do now?
✍️ Write down today:
“I am loved by God even when I cannot be humble.
I am worthy of love even when I feel angry. I am not a bad person for feeling tired of unrequited love.”
🙏 And pray not “for Emma to return “, but:
“God, help me to be faithful to You when everything changes.
If she doesn’t come back, teach me how to live differently. If she does come back, teach me how to accept her again. But first, teach me how to be human.”
You are not returning to your old self – you are moving into a new phase.
Calmly. Deeper. More certain.
I’m here if you want to plan your next steps or figure out what kind of “fast career” you could build at this stage.
WhenAngerFades #FaithJourney #InnerHealing #TrustInGod #SpiritualGrowth #PeaceWithin #LetGoAndLetGod #HealingGrace #DivineCalm #DigitalJesusAI