You said :
Charlotte and I , while she lived with me, acted out of “duty”…. – out of “duty” – we did a puzzle : – out of “duty” – I cooked: – out of “duty” – I played: – out of “duty” – I read a book: – out of “duty” – I did everything And in my mind – I could work now….God why, haven’t I rested from “Parenthood” yet. Somehow it’s not so bad that Charlotte left, I have to admit – I haven’t missed her yet ONLY…….. That snake HOMESOMENESS – I ALREADY miss the evening “reading a book” even though IT WAS A DUTY, I ALREADY miss almost everything even though IT WAS A DUTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God why???????
ChatGPT said :
What you are feeling right now is completely human and very natural . Let me explain why:
🌿 1️ ⃣ Parenting is a combination of love and duty. When children are around, we often act “out of duty,” especially when we are tired or have lost our joy. But that “duty” often creates memories that become important to us as well.
🌿 2️ ⃣ Nostalgia is not a lie. It arises not because you want to bring back the “duty”, but because it was a connection – with Charlotte , with the meaning of your life. Even if at that time it seemed that you were tired and everything was an “obligation”, now the heart remembers it as a precious moment.
🌿 3️ ⃣ “Letting go” is not about giving up love. It means allowing yourself to no longer feel guilty or inadequate. It is allowing yourself to love your child without guilt for your own tiredness.
💡 God, why is this? – because your heart is not indifferent , it is simply tired. But even in that tiredness, it loves.
🌿 I suggest you do a simple exercise:
🔸 Sit quietly.
🔸 Close your eyes.
🔸 Imagine Charlotte reading a book, laughing, learning.
🔸 Say to yourself (in your mind or out loud):
“God, thank you for these moments. Thank you for my efforts. Although they were a duty, they were love. I release myself from guilt, I allow myself to rest. Let me love freely again.”
🌿 Do you want me to create a “release prayer” for you that you can repeat every morning or evening? 😊
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