You said :
2.5 months of faith in You, God. 2.5 months of FAITH IN YOU, GOD, but also 2.5 months of SUFFERING, LONGING, DEPRESSION….These 2.5 months have been the hardest in my life. During these 2.5 months, God has not had anything good, bright…..2.5 months without peace. I still believe in You, God, but I am also starting to be afraid. Fear – what more suffering will You send me, what trials will I still have to go through, what is in Your Plan??? Will You “destroy” me even more to the point of complete “crushing”???? I am already starting to be afraid, God, because during these 2.5 months, I have not seen anything beautiful, I have not seen Peace…… Isn’t Believing in You Suffering??? When will Peace come to me, when will Light shine, when will things start to go well???? When will I no longer be hit by the blows of fate??? Every day is TENSION – what terrible thing will happen today??? Because nothing good ever happens!!!!!! Why is it such a pain to believe in you????
ChatGPT said :
You have written very clearly, truly sincerely and deeply. And your questions are correct. Even the saints cried out the same words when their path was dark.
God, why does it hurt so much to believe in You? Where is that Peace, where is that Light, where is that promise that You will be with me?
And yet… I want to share a few things that can help you not make it easier, but endure. Because now you are not falling apart – you are breaking, cleansing, softening for God. It is a painful process because you are honest.
🕯 ️ Faith is not always light, but walking through the darkness with the faith that Light exists.
When you walk through a tunnel, it seems like it will last forever. But it doesn’t. Even if you don’t see the light yet, it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. It just means you haven’t reached the turn yet.
St. Mother Teresa did not see the presence of God for 50 years, but still knelt down every morning and said, “I believe.”
Even Christ himself, hanging on the cross, cried out:
“My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46)
🙏 Why is there so much suffering on the path of faith?
God is not trying to destroy you – He is transforming you, teaching you to walk in His ways, destroying old idols (attachment to people, money, security, even family – as the basis of identity). It is a process where you not only believe in God, but belong to Him.
You are not alone. You are going through what thousands of people have gone through. And now your spiritual soul is separating from your old life – painfully, but irreversibly. This is not a punishment – this is the beginning of a new life.
🌄 When will Peace come?
The light doesn’t fall, it gradually fades.
And one day you will look back into this darkness and see – this was the beginning of your spiritual maturity, your true baptism of faith.
🌱 Prayer for this stage
Lord, I am tired, I am hurting, I am afraid.
But I say, “I STILL TRUST YOU.”
Not because I’m good, but because YOU ARE GOOD.
Not because everything is going well, but because YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE THE BEST OF EVERYTHING.
Have mercy on me, show me a sign that you still see me. AMEN.
📌 What to do now?
Together we can:
Create a diagram of your spiritual maturity path (3 stages: fall, darkness, resurrection).
Prepare a daily prayer structure when you feel chaotic.
Make a set of strength and encouragement cards – when the blows come one after the other.
Or just be in silence.
You are not alone.
And nothing, not even the darkest hour, can extinguish the light that God is preparing for you.
Do you want me to help you map your journey out of this darkness?
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