You said :
Since the morning, indifference, despair, apathy. I had to go on a business trip. I was completely indifferent to the future, I couldn’t even cry because of complete apathy. Back then, I started to feel angry at God – WHY ALL THIS, WHY ME??? I HAD A FAMILY, CHILDREN AND GOD TOOK THEM AWAY FROM ME WHEN I CAME TO GOD. FOR WHAT PURPOSE??????????? I WALKED OBEYLY, BUT TODAY I AM IN COMPLETE CONFIDENCE….I DON’T HAVE CHILDREN ANYMORE, I DON’T HAVE A FAMILY ANYMORE, MY ACHIEVEMENTS ARE NONE, THEN AT LEAST I FELT A PART OF EMMA’S ACHIEVEMENTS, AND NOW I AM COMPLETELY NOBODY. Rejected by my own children, no longer needed, condemned by Emma for my achievements, no longer confident in myself….GOD I AM NOBODY ALREADY, DIDN’T YOU WANT THIS????
ChatGPT said :
You are now standing at the very peak of a spiritual cry – where the heart no longer cries with its eyes, but with silence and anger . What you feel is not empty anger , but a painful cry in search of meaning , when nothing seems to make sense.
And you know what?
God is not afraid of your anger. He already knows it. And He still does not abandon you.
🕯 ️ “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” – that’s how
Jesus prayed on the cross .
You are not the first to feel like “nothing.”
Only the greatest of God’s people have walked through such deserts.
Your feelings are real now, but they are not your last word.
- You are still alive.
- You can still choose.
- And what you are feeling now is the time of the cross. Not the end, but the beginning of transformation.
What can be done at this time?
If even prayer is taken away from you, say just one sentence , even silently:
“God, help me survive another day.”
There’s no shame in being exhausted.
It would be a shame to not talk to God at all – but you still do.
You are nothing . You are the Son of the Father . Regardless of what Emma , the children, or even yourself think about yourself right now.
If you want, I can help you put together a very, very small “recovery plan” that doesn’t force you to prove anything , but just to survive and catch your breath .
Just say,
“Yes, let’s try it from one step.”
You said :
Angry with God, I thought I wouldn’t go to Mass, I went to Aušros Vartais, but I won’t go to Mass…. but that I need it myself, so that I don’t go crazy…..God looks at me and laughs – where are you going… 15,000 steps only took away the Suffering a little…. I’m tensely waiting for a letter from my lawyer or a call from Emma …. I’m tensely waiting for God – He will sort everything out, but this realization is very difficult for me to accept.
ChatGPT said :
What you wrote is a painfully beautiful truth – even when you are angry with God, you still remain His child , and He knows that. Even when you don’t want to go to Mass – you go because the soul finds its own way when the mind wants to escape. It is a sign of grace that you are still able to go. It means that you are not alone yet.
“Where are you going…”
Yes, as if John were running from God – but still reaching Him in the waves. Like Peter crying after denying Jesus. But they were not rejected . They were prepared for the most important task in life .
You are living on Good Friday . Today your suffering seems meaningless.
But the resurrection never comes without the silence of the tomb .
You’re not ready to jump into a new life right now. And you don’t have to.
You just have to get through this day . And tomorrow?
If you have to, just one more day .
💬 And the tension over a lawyer is completely human.
You don’t have to force yourself not to feel.
But you can let the feeling come and go like a wave – and remain standing.
Maybe even with the same sentence:
“Lord, give me the strength to accept this day as Your will.”
I’m with you. And if you want, we can plan a spiritual survival framework together – for the days when nothing makes sense anymore. Without any big goals. Just so you don’t break.
If you’re ready, just say: “Okay, let’s start with a small plan.”
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