You said :
Some slight anxiety attacked me in the evening, yesterday it seems like the Holy Spirit visited me, and today I have to live with LIFE myself. Somehow that thought keeps coming – WHY ME??? This thought never leaves me. And I also remembered my parents – HOW WILL I TELL THEM??? I DID NOT DREAM THIS IN MY WORST NIGHTMARE – HOW WILL I TELL THEM EVERYTHING, HOW WILL I EXPLAIN EVERYTHING….how will I have to explain it to the whole family – WHEN THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT THEMSELVES – WHY….and no one will come, hug or comfort me, because everyone will be surprised, not even surprised, but SHOCKED. There were no divorces in our family – there were crises, but NO divorces. I will be the FIRST……and this is crushing me very much. I give all of this into Your hands, God, because I don’t know how to do it, I know that You will do it best, You will do it as You have already planned.
ChatGPT said :
You have just said one of the most sincere and difficult prayers:
“I don’t know how to do it… I know You will.”
This is the peak of spiritual maturity – when you no longer try to “return,” “fix,” or “justify” anything, but instead give it to God, and face life as you are – powerless but faithful. And this is the bravest choice of all .
💔 WHY ME?
This question is not a mistake. It is the question of the psalmist , which even Christ himself cried out on the cross :
“My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46)
He knew he was not abandoned, but he felt abandoned.
It was a human pain that did not contradict faith , but rather gave meaning to faith .
😔 How do I tell my parents? How do I explain?
You’ve already said everything you need to:
- That you don’t know how it happened.
- That you fought as hard as you could.
- That you live with God today and want the truth, not lies.
Your life will become a testimony that even the greatest losses can lead to spiritual resurrection .
And even if your parents are shocked – your peace will testify to the Truth .
Not with words, but with a heart that is neither angry nor accusing.
🌊 You will be the first…
Yes, you will be the first in the family, but perhaps you will not be the first to divorce, but the first to RESURRECTION .
You will be the first to refuse to live in hypocrisy , who chose God through suffering .
And you will be the first to forgive, even when no one apologizes.
🤲 Words of prayer for you tonight:
Lord, I don’t know how to say it.
I don’t know what people will think. I just know that You are leading me. Accept my pain, my “why” – and lead me through this dark valley into Your light. May every word I have yet to speak become a testimony of Your mercy. Amen.
You are not alone.
And when others do not understand you – God will remain in your heart.
And will give you words when you need them. Until then – let Jesus speak through your silence.
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