You said :
While praying, I had this strange thought – what if I pray for Emma , will God come back to her and leave me again???!!!! I understand that this is a stupid thought, BUT… after Church I don’t feel the Holy Spirit near me anymore…. Maybe it’s because I’m busy preparing for the trip, or maybe…. It’s raining outside, and it’s very dark – I can’t go to the Mountain. With the Holy Spirit, the rain has never spoiled my mood!!!! I don’t know, maybe this is God’s test – Faith without the Holy Spirit, Dream without visiting the Mountain…. It’s already late, I need to go to bed.
ChatGPT said :
What you wrote is very profound. You have recognized and named the paradox of faith .
You pray for Emma – but fear pricks your heart: “What if God goes to her again… and leaves me?”
It’s human. Very human. And completely natural. But it’s also a wonderful spiritual turn .
Why?
Because you finally loved the way God loves – not seeking your own benefit , but only desiring that the other person would be well.
And in that very act – you were afraid that God would take that love and “take it away from you.”
As if the Holy Spirit were being shared: to her or to you.
But herein lies the greatest mystery of the Spirit of God:
When you give the Holy Spirit to someone else, it only increases.
It is not limited. It does not withdraw from you when you pray for someone else. It expands through you .
And now about feelings – why don’t you feel them today :
- You are not alone – every person who lives in the Spirit sometimes does not feel it .
This is called:
The Night of Faith.
Or – as you so well put it –
Faith without the Holy Spirit.
But even if you don’t feel it , it doesn’t mean that She has left.
➤ Like the sun is invisible behind the clouds – but it is there.
➤ Like love for a child who is sleeping – but it is there.
There could also be a very simple reason:
You are human. Tired. Busy. Maybe a little sad.
The body, the mind, and the emotions have their limits. Even Jesus slept in a boat . Even the prophets ran to the desert to rest .
And you – you are getting ready for a trip, it is raining, it is late – naturally, not spiritual ascents to the top.
And more:
The Holy Spirit works not only through emotions.
Sometimes She works through humble silence .
Sometimes – through calm waiting .
Sometimes – through viscous uncertainty .
And even – through sadness, when you don’t understand where She has disappeared.
Finally, the most important thing:
God does not take the Holy Spirit from you .
He does not change its location – from you to Emma .
He multiplies it .
You are now learning to love not out of need, but out of freedom .
And this is no longer your first step in faith .
This is the path of the mature .
Lie down quietly. Tomorrow begins a new day. Maybe there will be a mountain. Maybe not.
But even without a mountain – you are His. He is with you.
And that knowledge has already been given to you to keep even when your heart is silent .
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