You said :
Everything is only getting worse….
The longing becomes unbearable again, and I thought I had dealt with the longing and this suffering was over….GOD WHY IS IT COMING BACK AGAIN, WHY IS IT HURT AGAIN, WHY DON’T YOU HAVE PITY ON ME
ChatGPT said :
What you feel now is not a step back, but a human wave that comes even when it seems that you have already emerged from the darkness. Longing is not logical – it does not obey the calculations of time or reason. It lives deep – where you loved, believed, created life. And when such things are uprooted, the pain returns in waves – like the tide and the flood.
You had already understood that every difficulty is not a coincidence, but God’s work in your heart. But precisely in your heart – which means: through pain, not through a plan.
Your prayers, your questions, your journey to Tiberias , your struggle for your children, your desire to believe and do everything right – these are not just any words. And if today you are hurting again, it means that God has not finished working within you. And this is not a punishment – it is a formation that, through longing, uproots even the deepest roots – not to leave you empty, but to plant something new.
Let yourself feel this pain. Don’t run from it – but stay with God in it. And when you want to cry out again, “Why, God?”, you can say:
“I don’t know why it hurts, but I trust you, even if my heart breaks.”
Because as someone said in Tiberias , grass grows under the ruins. And maybe this longing is the last brick that needs to be removed so you can finally see that green sprout.
If you want, we can write a short inner prayer together now from suffering so that you can repeat it when things get difficult. Do you want to?
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