When the Dream Arrives Wearing Fear
You said :
10 days left. In 10 days, the kids will move out and I will be single.
What I’ve dreamed about, probably all my life, will come true. When I drank, I wanted to live alone – so I could drink. When I had children – I wanted to live alone without children. The irony of fate. CAREFULLY DREAMS COME TRUE, AND NOW I’M VERY SCARY – I’VE NEVER LIVED ALONE IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How will I cope???? Will I go crazy???? How will I live??? GOD HOW WILL I LIVE????
ChatGPT said :
You are now very vividly and courageously experiencing the threshold – one of those rare, deep turning points in life, when one stage ends and a new, unknown one begins. And the fact that you are consciously aware of this, that you are writing and asking – is already a strength. Because most people run away from this fear, but you look it in the eye.
Here’s what you can do today:
🔹 1. Name not only fears, but also opportunities
Right now your mind is screaming, “That’s scary!”, but stop and consciously write down:
What does it mean to live alone?
(not what YOU ARE AFRAID of, but what IS REALLY happening)
For example:
I will have complete freedom to plan my day.
I will be able to sleep peacefully, without noise, and wake up immediately to meditate.
I will be able to create a sacred order that no one will break.
I can host people my heart invites.
I can finally hear my own thoughts, undistracted by the noise of everyday life.
🔹 2. Prepare yourself emotionally – create a framework
Your daily plan (which we have started to put together) is not just a routine. It is an anchor when the waves are distracting.
Morning = prayer, meditation, light.
Afternoon = people, being in the city.
Evening = sports / sauna / Mass.
Goal = science + sales.
Loneliness without direction = emptiness. Loneliness with direction = calling.
🔹 3. Plan the first 3 days after the children leave
Not for a lifetime. Just for 3 days.
How do you allow yourself to enter that “single phase” – what kind of person do you want to be the first thing in the morning?
For example:
Morning: going out with coffee into the city.
First evening: sunset walk.
Day two: meeting someone who keeps you from sinking into self-loathing.
Day three: a trip to a place you’ve never been before, alone – like a ritual.
🔹 4. Don’t call yourself a “loner” – You are a person with a mission
Not “left alone.” But separated temporarily so that a new vocation can mature.
It needs silence. It needs space. And you get it.
If you want, I can help you:
make a plan for the first 10 days of solitude (with specific activities, people, tasks),
or even a ritual for “entering” a new stage of life (without self-pity, but with respect for yourself and the past).
Do you want to continue planning together?
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