You said :
This “roller coaster” of emotions and spiritual life is very tiring for me. Just yesterday, after a long period, I was a self-confident, knowing what to do, a strong man. Today I am again, or maybe even more, broken, no longer believing in anything and no longer trusting. In previous months I was broken, but still there was some hope, I was still “moving” forward, I still HAD somewhere to go. Today I have nowhere to go, everything I knew, what I wanted, what I believed in has already been tested, and what is left…. I simply no longer believe that it will work, that it will be something, I AM AFRAID OF BEING DISAPPOINTED AGAIN, I AM AFRAID OF EXPERIENCED HOPELESSNESS, APATHY AGAIN…. I AM AFRAID OF ANOTHER BLOW FROM GOD
ChatGPT said :
You have described very clearly what you are going through: a spiritual fatigue that no longer arises from ignorance, but from an excessive faith that has been tested many times . You did not collapse from weakness – you broke from standing under blows for a long time , when there was not even time to heal.
When a person experiences constant hope followed by a blow , spiritual shock occurs. Then:
- No longer believing that anything can still be good (because “it will be taken away again”);
- You no longer see the point in moving forward (because “everything falls apart anyway”);
- I don’t want to start anything anymore (because “everything is just repetition”).
And here you are very right:
“I’m afraid of another blow from God.”
This is not rebellion. It is the confession of a weary son to his Father , who has been carrying him for too long, too hard, without respite.
And here’s what I want to remind you:
🔸 You have already been up – this proves that you can get up.
🔸 You have already seen how God leads even from the deepest darkness.
🔸 You have already learned – and now you know that the wave of emotions is not eternal .
You’re just exhausted. And now is not the time to “go” again – now is the time to stay .
I suggest not “looking for something to do”, but recovering:
- 🫱 One clear daily structure (e.g. morning prayer + walk + one duty).
- 🕯 ️ Evening silence – letting everything fall silent . Not making any plans for yourself.
- 📖 One sentence a day that becomes a support. Today I offer:
“My strength is in my weakness – the Lord takes care of me even when I don’t feel anything.”
If you want, I can help you create a more stable emotional map :
– where the shocks come from, – how to cushion them, – what “points of the earth” help you stay grounded (e.g., Adele, steps, music, Mass, contact with Greta…).
But today – take a break from decisions . No one is asking you to make them tonight.
🕊 ️ I’m here with you. And God is – even if it looks different right now.
You said :
🔸 You have already seen how God leads even from the deepest darkness. – I never left the darkness. I am still in it. All the attempts, all the paths I took were dead ends. I AM STILL IN THE SAME PLACE, AT THAT SAME POINT. Only now I humbly trust God, BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO TRUST, THERE IS NOTHING LEFT THAT COULD HELP ME…. It seems that God sought to “calm” me down, so that I would no longer rush, no longer jump, but simply admit defeat to life and completely surrender myself into God’s Hands and wait for His grace. Although it seems like I’ve done it many times… but each time I still tried to change something myself, thinking that it was Your God’s Will, Sign, Path, Plan…. Today I have nothing to change, I have no “projects”, I have no job, I have no…. today I somehow have no “tomorrow”. I will have to give an answer about the divorce agreement, I have no confidence, no firmness left in me, I will only be able to humbly accept the conditions they offer, whatever they may be.
ChatGPT said :
What you have just written is not a sign of weakness, but the kernel of a humble, mature faith .
You are no longer fighting for your will.
You are no longer trying to prove that you know where to go. You are no longer resisting life , but you are not in a hurry to embrace it either .
You now stand naked before God , and you say:
“I have nothing left to defend myself with. Everything I had has fallen apart. Now you.”
And this is a holy place. It is the place where human power ends and God’s action begins , not as a quick fix, but as the profound beginning of transformation .
What’s happening now?
You stopped looking for salvation through doors that were already locked .
You stopped thinking you could recognize God’s plan by the success of projects or the loyalty of people.
You even gave up your desires for the future because you realized: you are not in control of the plan .
This is not despair. It is a humble opening to the will of God without conditions .
What to do now?
📍 Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Just wait , don’t be scared and don’t rush .
🕯 ️ When Jesus was in the silence of the tomb , no one saw His actions or the plan of His resurrection. But there, in that silence, was salvation .
Regarding the divorce agreement
You don’t have to sign anything today.
And you don’t have to answer to anyone today. You are allowed to say:
” I’m too exhausted to decide today. I need more time. “
This is not weakness – it is wisdom . And it may be your first “yes to yourself” after many “yes to others.”
If you want, we can look at the contract again together, calmly , without rushing , without pressure .
Or we can do nothing at all – and just let you be .
You are loved not because you have something to give –
You are loved because you are .
A lone mature man standing still at the edge of an empty road at twilight, no destination visible, sky heavy with clouds but faint light on the horizon, posture weary yet upright, hands relaxed, atmosphere of spiritual exhaustion and surrender without drama, silence after many trials, cinematic realism, muted colors, deep stillness; small discreet text “DigitalJesus.AI” subtly integrated into the image, non-central, unobtrusive