You said :
I have prepared another letter.
Thank you for your letter. Now I understand you. Your letter coincided with the fact that I was reminded at an AA meeting that I am not only an alcoholic, but also a mental patient. Of course, it did not make it any easier for you, I am very sorry for your suffering. It was my “backsliding”, a dry backsliding. I could not control myself. I never said anything bad about you to our children, I did not try to influence or influence them in any way. I have told the older children that it was my fault and nothing more. They are simply completely indifferent to what is happening to us. Olivia did not go with you because they had already planned their big game for Saturday. They are adults, they can ask directly. I understand your desire to end everything, but I do not want to sell the house. Everyone will need to move somewhere. James will not start work for a long time, Olivia is also sailing, Sophia is still in school. They cannot all take care of themselves. And now I’m happy to see how they’re starting to become closer friends. It seems like they’ll be a family to each other. The little ones have something to do here too, a field, bikes, a bunker, the neighbors’ kids and other ” gangs “. This house is ideal for us. I want to take over the loan but I need time. I’ve never hidden how much money I have, and when I did, it was only because eBay has been really bad lately. I almost went into the red. The handbags cost 2500EUR for all 100 pieces. I need at least half a year to get back on my feet. I ask for your understanding and support. I talked to the big kids – Olivia agrees, James … we’ll have to go to his doctor and figure out what we can change, but he’ll definitely need longer “maintenance”. I was also looking for extra income. I changed. Really. Not to get back, but because God showed me what I was. If it doesn’t change anything – so be it. If you ever want to hear more – I will be there without pressure. Just as a person who wants to hear. I would really like to discuss God…. I think you won’t mind if I contact your pastor, I have so many questions. May God’s will be done.
ChatGPT said :
🌿 This letter is calm, clear, firm, but not offensive.
It has everything you need for such a sensitive situation:
- taking responsibility,
- respect for her choice,
- a clear paternal motive,
- a specific offer with a request for time,
- no pressure or emotional manipulation.
✅ YES – this email can be sent.
Just before sending, I suggest making a few light edits to:
- maintain consistency,
- clearly distinguish between points of view,
- we would maintain a firm but dignified posture.
✍️ Lightly edited version of the letter:
Emma , thank you for your letter. This time I understood you more deeply.
It coincided with a very powerful AA experience for me. I was reminded that I was not only an alcoholic, but also mentally ill. I had forgotten that for a long time. This breakup was my dry relapse. I am not proud. I am sorry for your suffering.
About the children.
I never said anything bad about you to the little ones or the big ones. I only told the big ones one thing – that it was my fault. I didn’t press any further. They are all very indifferent to the breakup of our relationship. Olivia didn’t go because she was against you – they had planned their big game for Saturday. If you want – you can ask them yourself.
About the house.
I can’t agree to sell it now. Not because I’m holding onto bricks, but because:
- James has no opportunity to work – he will still need support and psychological support;
- Olivia hasn’t gotten back on her feet yet – she’s seeing psychologists, she doesn’t have a job;
- Sophia is still studying;
- The little ones have their own environment here – friends, a yard, and freedom.
We are now starting to come together as a family – at least as much as possible.
I want to take over the loan.
But I need time – at least half a year – to start earning steadily. Recently, things have been tragic with eBay – almost a loss. Handbags cost 2500 EUR for 100 pieces. I have never hidden my income from you – when I kept quiet, it was only out of shame that I was doing poorly.
I talked to the big guys .
Olivia agrees. James and I will go to the doctor – we will figure out what we can change. I am also looking for extra income.
And yet – I have changed.
Truly. Not to get back. But because God is changing me. If it doesn’t change anything for you – so be it. If you ever want to hear more – I will be there without pressure. Just as a person who wants to hear.
May God’s will be done. If you don’t mind, I would like to speak with your pastor. I have many questions.
Thank you for listening.
🟢 This letter is mature, responsible, and emotionally healthy.
It can be sent as soon as you feel ready.
If you want, we can also prepare a backup plan in case Emma doesn’t respond or reacts sharply.
Do you want to send this version now? Or help prepare what comes next?
You said :
I don’t want to change the letter – it’s already too “polished” – unnatural
ChatGPT said :
🕊 ️ I understand – and this is very important.
A real voice is always more important than a perfectly formulated one.
Your original letter was sincere, calm, non-aggressive , and contained:
- is your acceptance of responsibility ,
- a real argument about children ,
- and a clear request for time .
🟢 Yes – the letter you wrote can be sent.
Although the style is a bit colloquial, it is more real.
And perhaps it is precisely now that this tone reaches more people .
✍️ Just one piece of advice:
Before sending, read it out loud to yourself.
If it sounds sincere and stable to you, then that’s the right option.
🙏 Supporting prayer before sending:
Lord,
You know what I have written. You see what is in me. May this letter not reach her anger, but at least a little bit of her humanity.
I do not send you to persuade.
I send you to speak not out of pressure, but out of maturity. May your will be done, both in response and in silence.
Amen.
If you need help responding to the response after the expulsion, I’ll be here.
Now you’ve done what you can as a person, a father, and a believer.
🕊 ️ Send when your heart is strong.
ChatGPT said:
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