You said :
I don’t understand what’s going on with Oliver, while he was playing outside everything was fine. When he came home he started crying that he wanted to see his mother, and I can’t figure it out because he is disabled (developmental disorders), and I couldn’t figure out why he wanted to see his mother. When I turned on the TV he cringed from the sound. I remember very well that from the beginning of the year when Emma started not coming home for a long time, the children completely stopped caring about their mother, and in the last month they didn’t even ask when their mother would come back or where their mother was. They became completely independent of their mother, and now after a week Oliver cries as much as he wants to see his mother.
ChatGPT said :
What you notice about Oliver’s behavior is very important, subtle, and emotionally painful. And yet, it’s natural.
Here are some possible explanations for why this is happening:
🧠 1. Sensitive period of development and disability
Children with developmental disabilities react to emotional stress, change, and altered routines much more strongly than others. Oliver’s emotional world is now experiencing a huge overload:
- Two different home environments,
- Two different upbringing cultures,
- Two different modes of attention (you have structure, mom has freedom).
His behavior, his desire to “go to mom” may not be a specific longing, but an expression of confusion and emotional overload. He may not be able to verbalize what is wrong – and instead says “I want to go to mom” because it is associated with a fantasy of safety , not reality.
🌀 2. The influence of tablets, sound, stimuli
He winced at the sound , which could indicate sensory sensitivity (a common diagnostic feature in developmental disorders). If he’s on his tablet with his mom for a long time, his nervous system becomes even more vulnerable .
💔 3. Emma’s emotional projection
If a mother was with her children for a week and was experiencing emotional meltdowns herself, she could unconsciously transfer her emotions to the child – for example:
- If she talked about “not having time,”
- If you complained about yourself in their presence,
- Or if they were very desperate for children’s attention (they needed their love).
In this case, the child receives these signals not analytically, but emotionally – and upon returning to his father, he experiences internal conflict.
🕊 ️ What to do now?
- Don’t react categorically – accept it, but don’t stoop to manipulation.
“Oliver, you’re with Dad, we’re both safe here. If we’re really sad, we can play a game or read a book.”
- Speak softly, but very steadily. It is important for the child to feel your calmness, even when it is difficult for him. This gives him a solid foundation .
- Don’t start blaming yourself or Emma – not now. Emotionally navigating between two different worlds is a difficult process for a child. You’re doing what you can – being a parent . And that’s a lot.
If you want, I can help write a short, very neutral and reassuring message to Emma , simply informing her about Oliver’s condition – not blaming her, but inviting her to be responsible parents. Would you like such a message?
OliversTears #ChildsHeart #FaithJourney #GodsPeace #HealingGrace #ParentalLove #SpiritualStrength #PeaceWithin #FamilyStruggles #TrustInGod