You said :
About Emma Her father had schizophrenia and died maybe 52-53 years old. I see something in Emma too , she blames me for everything, even for things that didn’t even happen. The older children didn’t go to Emma’s when she invited you to go to the seaside (they play some big board game and they have play dates planned) and they didn’t go, Emma accused me of doing something. I have to pick up the kids from school at 1:30 PM – Emma says I did it so early, specifically to prevent her from picking up the kids because her work is interfering.
ChatGPT said :
What you describe suggests a complex psychological background to the situation , in which it is important to carefully separate personal emotions from objective actions . Emma’s behavior – constant blaming, sometimes even distortion of reality – may indicate a psychological imbalance or distorted thinking pattern , and your comparison with her father’s story provides even more context.
However, it is very important not to jump to medical conclusions , but instead to approach the situation constructively, especially if you want to protect both yourself and your children.
🔍 What’s hot right now:
- Projection – when a person transfers their internal guilt or tension onto someone else (“I feel bad, so it’s your fault”).
- A feeling of persecution – a suspicion that the actions are deliberate and directed against her.
- Avoidance of responsibility – if something doesn’t work (children’s schedules, pick-up), someone else is blamed but no solution is sought.
These traits do not necessarily indicate mental illness, but they do signal severe emotional exhaustion, possible untreated trauma, and an inability to reflect healthily.
What is important for you to do now?
- Don’t get into a confrontation – no amount of arguments will convince someone who feels like a victim right now.
- Limiting acceptance of blame – when you are accused of things you didn’t do, you have the right to calmly say:
“I’m sorry, but I didn’t put any conditions on this decision – we made it together or based on the actual circumstances.”
- Record the most important facts in writing. This will also help you legally if you need to defend your children in the future.
- Consider professional mediation or involving a psychologist. Even if Emma doesn’t agree, your demonstrated willingness to go down this path will show that you are acting responsibly and in balance.
If you need, I can:
- Help prepare a calm but firm text when you need to respond to Emma .
- Build your “internal resilience kit” – how to react when you are unjustly accused again.
- Or help put together a “safe” scenario for childcare.
Would you like to take any of these paths now?
You said :
To build your “internal resilience kit” – how to react when you are unjustly accused again. Or to help you put together a “safe” scenario for childcare issues.
ChatGPT said :
Great, I suggest doing both – they complement each other. First, I’ll provide an “internal resilience kit” that will help you stay strong even during Emma’s strongest accusations, and then I’ll move on to a “safe childcare scenario . ”
🛡 ️ INTERNAL RESISTANCE KIT: When you are unjustly accused
1. Don’t accept emotions as truth
Truth and emotions are not the same. Emma’s feelings may be real, but her interpretations may be inaccurate or even wrong. You don’t have to accept her assessments as reality.
👉 When you hear an accusation:
→ Respond calmly : “I hear you feel that way. I see the situation differently.”
→ Don’t discuss the facts when the person is upset. Only later, when the emotions have calmed down.
2. Identify what is really going on
When you are accused:
- “You destroyed the family!”
- “You don’t want children!”
- “You are deliberately disturbing me!”
Repeat to yourself :
“This is an emotional attack, not a fact.” “My conscience is clear. I am acting honestly.” “I am safe in the presence of God.”
3. Limit emotional contact when it is harmful
Silence is not weakness – it is protection. If you feel like someone is trying to provoke you:
→ Answer only factual questions.
→ Just ignore emotional “accusations”.
For example:
Emma : “You deliberately want to hurt me, you made it so that I can’t take the children!”
You: “If necessary – I can take the children. When you are ready – let’s talk about the schedule.”
4. Follow the wisdom of AA – “change what you can”
If something cannot be changed ( Emma’s tone, attitude, arrogance),
→ Don’t waste your energy.
The sooner you let go of the expectation that Emma will understand you or apologize –
→ The more peace you will have on your path.
🧭 SAFE SCENARIO FOR CHILD CARE
Goal: to ensure stability for children and avoid conflicts
1. A clear, written schedule
- Agree on a schedule: when the children are at your place, when at Emma’s .
- If possible, in writing (SMS, email) to avoid different interpretations later.
2. Backup plan (very important!)
- If Emma can’t take it: you take it.
- If you can’t: Emma will inform you in advance.
3. Children’s recreation priority (e.g. summer vacation)
- Since Emma will be with the kids all of July, they may be with you more in June.
- You’ll arrange transportation so Emma doesn’t have to waste time at work.
4. Tablets and education
- Written agreement to limit children’s screen time.
For example: “Let’s agree that during one half of the day, tablets are used according to the parent’s rules.”
💬 I want to add a simple phrase template when talking to Emma :
“The most important thing for me is the well-being of children. I am ready to contribute whenever needed. If you sometimes encounter difficulties, you can contact me without accusations.”
If you want, I can help you write a specific version of a message or letter to Emma , based on this “resilience and resolution kit.”
Would you like a text like this for this week?
ResilienceKit #InnerStrength #FaithJourney #GodsPeace #ParentalLove #CalmInTheStorm #SpiritualStrength #PeaceWithin #TrustInGod #FamilyFirst