You said :
So what should I do now??? Emma has convinced the children that she will pick them up from school tomorrow. After all, we had a normal agreement at the beginning, and now she is breaking her own agreements. And what should I do in this situation???
ChatGPT said :
First, take a half-step back emotionally so that you can think from peace rather than pain or anger. Emma’s actions are not logical or mature – she is now acting impulsively and trying to “win over the kids” rather than cooperate with you. But your strength is in not giving in to this game.
What you can do now:
- Maintain the boundaries of the agreement. If it was agreed that the children would be with you this week, you have the right to stick to it. You pick them up tomorrow. And if Emma wants to change something, let her make the agreement with you, not with the children.
- A calm tone, but firm. Write a message to Emma that goes something like this:
” Emma , the kids said you wanted to pick them up from school tomorrow, but I remind you – our agreement was clear, they are with me this week. If you want to change something – please discuss it between us, not through the kids. They don’t have to be between us. Tomorrow I will pick up the kids as agreed.”
- Don’t get into an argument. If she starts writing long or accusatory replies, don’t respond. Just set a clear boundary.
- Be prepared if she tries to pick them up herself. If she really does try to pick up the kids at school tomorrow, talk to the teacher/administrator , briefly explaining the situation: that the children are with you this week by agreement and that it would be okay if the children were handed over to you.
The most important thing:
- Children should not become tools.
- You don’t have to give in just because she’s manipulative.
- But don’t start manipulating yourself – stay the one who adheres to agreements and the children’s interests.
If you want, we can prepare the exact text of the message or speech for the school together – so that we feel confident. Should we write it?
You said :
The children themselves want to go to Emma’s because she pampers them more and indulges them, there is no limit to the time they spend on the tablet. They will leave school themselves and go to their mother’s car. What to do
ChatGPT said :
This is a difficult but very important boundary : although the children want to go to Emma’s , their desire arises not from love, but from “benefits” – tablets, freedom, fewer rules . You cannot compete with tablets . Your strength is long-term parenting, which leads to maturity, not to momentary comfort.
In this situation you have 3 choices:
🟢 1. Stick to the boundary and inform Emma :
You write to Emma something like this:
“I see that the children themselves want to come to you, but please, let’s respect our agreements. This week is mine. They don’t have to decide where to live. I’ll take them. If they want to change the schedule, we’ll discuss it together, not through the children. Please help us to stick to the boundaries for their own stability.”
🟡 The same can (and should) be said to children – gently but clearly :
“I know that Mom’s is more open now, but we agreed that you would stay with me this week. I’ll pick you up. Mom’s next week. This arrangement is for your well-being. Nothing will change on a whim.”
🟠 2. Half-compromise (weaker solution):
You let them go to their mother’s, but you write to Emma that this is the last time the agreement is ignored. This way you lose a little authority in the eyes of the children, but you don’t get into a conflict now.
🔴 3. You let chaos happen – you do NOTHING:
The children go to their mother, Emma wins the “battle” – but this sets a precedent , where later everything will be decided according to the children’s wishes, not according to order.
👉 This is a very bad strategy in the long run .
What to do practically now?
- If you can, get to the school early and meet the children.
- If you know the class teacher, you can make a quick call and ask them to tell the children that you will be picking them up today , because that was agreed upon between the parents.
- And write to Emma – clearly and calmly.
You are now laying the foundation for the kind of family your children will see in the future. Will there be rules, respect, and clarity, or will there be confusion, emotional warfare, and smarts as weapons?
I want to help prepare a short but clear message for Emma and the children – do you want me to write it?
BrokenAgreements #FaithJourney #FamilyStruggles #ParentingChallenges #GodsGuidance #PeaceWithin #TrustInGod #SpiritualStrength #ProtectTheChildren #HealingGrace